Letter From Birmingham Jail

This was printed on the cover of the church's bulletin this morning:

There was a time when the church was very powerful -- in the time when the early Christians rejoiced at being deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society. Whenever the early Christians entered a town, the people in power became disturbed and immediately sought to convict the Christians for being "disturbers of the peace" and "outside agitators." But the Christians pressed on, in the conviction that they were "a colony of heaven," called to obey Gad rather than man. Small in number, they were big in commitment. They were too God-intoxicated to be "astronomically intimidated." By their effort and example they brought an end to such ancient evils as infanticide and gladiatorial contests.

This is an excerpt from a letter that Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote, while he was serving time in a Birmingham, Alabama jail.  It is dated April 16, 1963.  

The entirety of the letter is here:

http://coursesa.matrix.msu.edu/~hst306/documents/letter.html

I firmly believe that Martin Luther King, Jr. wasn't targeted because he was a black man, with the intent to free his people from racist oppression.  I believe that Martin Luther King, Jr. was sought out to be stopped because he was an individual attempting to start a movement.  His words are Christ centered. He simply was crying out for support and help.  God doesn't say we can do it alone.  We need God's strength to band together, as brothers...as one unit, to help free ourselves.  God made us all free.  It is our own self, that causes us to be enslaved, with the sin of this world.  I challenge you to read this letter, and just like Martin Luther King, Jr. did, fight for your freedom...under God.  

Be free

What Does It Mean? Pt. 2

I sit in The Blue Note Jazz Club.  Music fills my ears, as thoughts flood my mind.  I take a long blink, as though I have just woken up.  Much to my surprise, when I open my eyes, I am still there.  It feels like a dream to me.  To be in New York City, all the way from Florida.  Thoughts run wild.  It's incredible how advanced technology is.  It's great how I can just hop in a plane and be a thousand miles away, in a couple of hours.

I had decided to talk to her parents about it.  I was nervous at the time.  I doubted they would ever say yes, although there was a slight possibility that they would.  I relied heavily on the fact that I was asking about four months in advance.  So, I sent an email.

Four months later, we were boarding a plane (my girlfriend and I).  We were headed to New York City for the new year.  It was her first time seeing the city, and my first time during the winter season.  

Chris Botti spoke into the microphone, "Does everybody have champagne?"  After a resounding response of, YES, he continued,  "raise your glasses in the air, as we count down to the new year..."

You know, I never could quite understand the idea behind celebrating a new year.  Was it used as an excuse to party and celebrate.  What about the new year do we celebrate?  Is it the cliche saying, 'new year, new me'?  And what does champagne have to do with it?  Who invented that bubbly stuff anyway!?  

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!"  Another year gone by, another year here, I thought to myself.  All I wanted was to hear the music anyway.  You know, I don't mean to be so cynical.  I suppose I have some things that I could look back on and be happy about.  But I don't get why people write down a list of this that they need to improve.  What are these things, resolutions?  Intentions to better yourself somehow?  Maybe in a way that was lacking from the past year?  I have never made one of these lists, you know.  I would always fake it when I was younger, in an attempt to merely please my parent's request.  Lost in thought, I hear the finale, and the show is over.  I have to muster up some good speech to deliver, about the new year, and the resolutions that entail, once we reach the hotel. 

To my surprise, the subject was only grazed over.  Working out to my benefit, I thought.  

I lie in bed, with my head facing the ceiling.  My girlfriend is fast asleep, nestled into my body.  I hear her heavy breathing, as I attempt to rid my mind of these twisted thoughts.  I can't understand why I am trying to write my wrongs for the year in my head, laying in a hotel bed.  For crying out loud!!  Maybe the weight of them has just become too heavy.  Maybe I need to tell someone what I am feeling.  But wait, if I do that, then I am immediately vulnerable.  I will look weak, and in dire need of help.  Eh, maybe I'll just blog about it.

You know, there were a few things going through my mind that night, none of which has been previously discussed  with anyone, until now.  I suppose the thoughts, and my attempt to correct them, have become my 'resolutions'.  I should probably start with my most embarrassing, risque thought, then work backwards.

I have had a problem.  I couldn't help myself really.  I feel like it was almost uncontrollable.  I felt helpless.  Even though I was able to recognize the problem, and the issue, I wasn't able to fully conquer it.  I would go days, weeks (which is much improvement) without it.  I had an addiction.  To what, you might ask?  Masterbating.  This is touchy enough of a subject for all of us.  Whether open about it, or joking about it, there is always an odd vibe after a conversation where this is the topic.  It became a problem for me from the get go.  It then turned into a habit.  Following that, it became more.  I became addicted to other things.  Pornography and seeking other ways to further please myself.  Just this past year, I made a goal.  Rather, I made a point to stop my habit.  I decided the best way would be to eliminate the things that led to the actual act itself.  I took away the porn and I took away being creative.  Now it was up to me to just control myself, with myself, and stop.  I can't even begin to tell you how hard it is (no pun intended..ugh) to hold something back, when it had such a huge impact on your life.  But when I thought about it, it was simple.  It HAD to stop!!  I sit here writing this blog, confidently telling you that I have conquered this.  Do I still have thoughts, and urges?  Yes, I am a human being.  But what I know, is that I am done.  Although, I know that I did not do this alone.  Which is a perfect segue into my next thought [or resolution].

I made it a goal to love on God more.  To reach a point where I come to the fork in the road, and always choose God.  But wait, Matt, I thought you were already a Christian?  Indeed, I am a Christian.  But I challenge those to define what a Christian is.  I have done this here in my blogs before.  Here, I just want to be more than the church goer.  I want to be more than the typical tither.  I want to be the guy that is following Jesus so closely, that I am riding bumper to bumper.  [I'm tired of chasing His shadow].  I want to change the world (don't get that twisted...I do NOT want to rule the world).  I want people to look at me, and see something different.  I was at my church's study on Wednesday night.  They call it, 'huddle time'.  It is a time where the high school students are invited to gather at church.  There is usually a message, and some fellowship.  The basic message that gets repeated over and over again is simple: show that you are different.  To add to that, the students are told to be more like Jesus (which, if you break it down, is exactly being different than everybody else).  The questions then arise; What does it mean to be like Jesus?  What does being a Christian look like?  It was this past Wednesday, when one of the high schoolers put it into simple terms, and into a great perspective: Jesus shines.  At first glance to any Christian, this is a no brainer.  But to a believer; one who truly believes in God, and what He did/does for us; this is HUGE!!  I have heard Bible verses on it before.  The light...Jesus...be like Him; but it never sunk in like it did the other night.  In my struggle to show how I am trying daily to be like Jesus, two words that a 15 year old girl said hit home.  

Jesus shines.

What Does It Mean? Pt. 1

Firstly, I would like to apologize for my lack of entries, as of late.  It has been a rigorous and busy past six weeks [or so] for me!  I had to turn in my leased car and get a new one.  Then a week later, wrap up the school semester.  Followed by winter break, which included Christmas (and all of its associated events), Breakthru, and a vacation for New Years.  Although everything is true, those are roughly the WORST excuses.  I know that I had time to write an entry in there.  Instead, I decided to take notes in my phone, of things on my mind that I would like to share.  I apologize ahead of time for the choppiness of this entry so far.  I am a bit rusty, I suppose.  Bare with me.


Buy a Christmas tree, put it in the stand, decorate it, and stare at it.  Feel the frenzy as Christmas Day approaches; anticipation, causing frantic anxiety.  Purchase gifts, wrap them, place them under the tree, and wait.  Christmas Day arrives.  Open the much anticipated presents, eat, lounge around all day, and then it's all over.  What is Christmas about?  Is it the items we receive?  Is it the food we eat?  Is it the people we spend time with?  Is it the shopping?  Is it the Christmas Eve church service?  Or is it actually about Christ?  Yes, Jesus Christ.  You know, the baby in a manger?  Yeah, well, when we get all caught up in the gift giving, the eating, and our loved ones that we cherish during that time of year, we forget the most important thing.  It's interesting...people have gone so far as to look it up, and disprove that Jesus was even born on Christmas Day.  Then, now back to the crux of the issue, what is the purpose of celebrating the day?  Well, Christmas is divided into "Christ's Mass".  Therefore, meaning the celebration (mass) of Christ.


So, there I was, in traffic.  It was December 22nd, for goodness sake!!  I knew that was going to happen.  I should have done my shopping earlier.  I do the usual, traditional 'beat myself up about it' rendition, as I found myself stuck at yet another red light.  That's when it hit me.  Why are we buying gifts for each other!?  Has tradition grasped such a hold on us, that we can't help but continue to follow in it?  Am I suggesting that we stop the giving of gifts?  NO!  I am merely suggesting that we stop the absolute craze!  What bothers me, is the great intent to please so many people around ourselves.  The desire to give to those who have got.  Am I making any sense?  Maybe if we look at the numbers:


http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=KGPDGPNX


Now how ridiculous does it sound?  The pastor at my church showed that during his sermon, two weeks before Christmas.  It made me want to do something.  It made me want to give my time.  It made me want to take action for those in need.  Sacrifice what I have, to give to others.  Isn't that the ENTIRE meaning of the Gospel!?!?  Isn't that EXACTLY what God did!?  Does the name Jesus Christ ring a bell??  Isn't that why we celebrate anyway!?  Where is the Christ in Christmas these days!?!?  Maybe I am a few weeks late on this, or maybe I'm right on time.  I was told, not too long ago, that it is never too late to act.  I firmly believe this.  I firmly believe that we are capable of many things.  It is just that we don't have the thought...rather, the desire to take the steps to do what is right!!


And guess what?  Santa Claus...yeah, He's real!  Think about it.  "You better watch out, you better not cry.  Better not pout, I'm telling you why.  Santa Claus is coming to town.  He's making a list, and checking it twice.  Gonna find out who's naughty and nice.  Santa Claus is coming to town.  He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake.  He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!  O!  You better watch out!  You better not cry!  Better not pout, I'm telling you why.  Santa Claus is coming to town.  Santa Claus is coming to town."  Do you know who Mr. Claus is made out to be?  Do you know what He represents?  It's God.  I had this revelation while singing this song a few weeks back.  Think about it.  He sees you when you're sleeping.  He knows when you're awake.  He knows if you've been bad or good.  Why, that sounds like Santa knows all!!  The very symbol of what Christmas is; the face of the holiday is a portly man, dressed in an outrageous, and vibrantly red, suit...played as a figurehead for God.  Do you see the commonality!?


The holiday has long passed, but there is still time to act!!  Don't get caught watching the hustle and bustle.  Be the person who changes CHRISTmas!!

Learning To Fly

"I suppose I'm learning."

If I had a penny for every time I have said that, or heard someone else say that, I'd be rich!!  Is there ever a time when we are done learning? ...I suppose when we die.  (or is that too harsh?)

About a month ago, I was in my kitchen cooking up some food, and I overheard something on the news.  It made me stop what I was doing, and look at the TV.

For those of you that know me, you know that I do NOT like to watch TV, let alone the news.

The news anchor was reporting that there was an investigation in the production of synthetic drugs.  I immediately became confused.  Why would someone produce synthetic drugs!?  From what I gathered, synthetic drugs are produced in order to make drugs cheaper.  Still confused?  Well, after some research on the matter, I found that the drugs that are being produced, are made by mixing chemicals together to produce the drug.  I also found that the synthetic drugs result in the same desired effect on the body.  This ticks me off!!  ...for several reasons.
1. I never really understood the altering of the chemicals in the body to feel a certain way.  Even when I drank (which is classified as a 'drug', I never really understood.  I hated the feeling.  I just drank to be cool)
2. ^^^ how bad does that sound for you?  Just saying.  I mean, ALTER the chemicals in your body.  Is that even safe?  But I suppose over the counter meds, and prescription medication alters the chemicals as well.

Interjection:

So, isn't that the problem!?  What used to be, when humans existed LONG ago...before all of the 'drugs'?? I supposed they used other natural remedies to suppress the pain they had, or the anxiety.  But isn't that the problem?  Why are we wired in that way?  Why are humans so selfish?  Why is it that our internal self desires so much more than it can have?  Why do we strive for the perfect this, the perfect that, to achieve the perfect feeling?  Again, why are we wired that way?  I once watched a documentary on anxiety and stress among humans.  We are high stress beings...that being obvious.  But what is the true meaning behind all of that?  Why are we so anxious?  Well, studies prove that humans have the innate ability to be stressed, for certain situations.  For instance, when humans had to hunt for food, and fend for their lives, they had to be stressed out someway, in order for the body to react [and survive].  So did that just carry over, as we evolved?  Eh, I don't like that word, "evolved".  (I will touch on this at another time)..."became more advanced."  I believe the answer to be a resounding yes.  And because we stress, we would like a remedy for that.  I mean, who on this earth wants to be stressed!?  So we seek medicine for it, food for it, and put other things into our bodies to relieve the stress, for the momentary satisfaction.

3. This is the main reason why I so highly dislike(d) this report: these are chemists, that are producing these synthetic drugs.  That, I'm sure you could already assume.  Now think about this: there are how many doctors in the world?  And how many diseases and illnesses do we have?  How many have a cure?...how many don't?  I don't have the specifics, nor the numbers on it.  And yeah, there is some reason to believe that many diseases are forever evolving and reoccurring, leading to the inability to cure them.  But what if, in an all perfect world, these same doctors.  Yeah, the ones spending days to produce a synthetic drug.  What if they devoted their time to something else?  Perhaps, hmm...curing a disease.  One that causes deaths to hundreds of thousands (if not millions), each year!  I get the mindset.  They are just looking for a quick dollar (which is wrong nonetheless, in a way that is harming other people).  And yes, they are/were punished for this offense already.  But don't you see what I'm getting at!?!?

Why are we so focused on the exterior, and the outer layer of things?  This world has nothing better to do, than to research how to make a drug cheaper and more effective?  ...FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! It's a recreational drug!!!  It's not like they were testing drugs to help...ugh enough.  What I am saying is that this world is filled with wasted talent.  People with PhD.'s screwing around in medical labs, people with the ability to create and innovate...sitting at a dead end job.  There are politics behind it, and there are people who know people, who...well...know people.  But COME ON!!!  I have grown tired of it.  I suppose we are all guilty of it.  But why don't we act on it then?  Why have we become so freaking accustom to sitting around waiting for someone else to change the world, when we can just try for ourselves!?  Okay, that has to be a quote from somewhere! hah  But that's my point, anyhow.  And take it from me.  I have wasted years of my life, muddling around, doing who knows what, instead of getting out and doing the things I do best.  I suppose I am still learning what I do best, as we all are.  That still shouldn't be used as an excuse.  We are our own method to our madness!

Breathe

I was thinking about how we learn.  I learn something new everyday.  As a matter of fact, I can probably name several things that I learn each day!  Nonetheless, learning is an important part of the development of humans.  Do we have a maximum capacity for learning?  Yes, I know that my grandfather knows more than I do.  And he has learned a heck of a lot in his lifetime.  What if we develop some sort of mental deficiency, leading to a regression in mental capacity?  Do we learn until the day we die?  What about after we die?  Do we still learn things then?  That I don't know.  The answer to all these questions, I don't know.  I stumped myself.  I am able to admit that I don't know all of the answers in life.  What I do know is this:  I am learning.  Everything that is meant for me to learn, I will.  And everything after I die will come when I pass on.  Because if I am too curious about where I'm going, I must remember that I ain't got wings.

What Is It With...!?

This weekend, I made my way to Orlando.  I spent the whole time with my girlfriend.  We went to just about every place in Orlando that we could over the course of a weekend.  We visited friends at UCF, visited some theme parks (rode rides, went into stores, etc.), and really got into our inner tourist mode.  It was great!! I loved to see her, and I loved to go back to a place that was so frequently visited as a child.

While I was there, I learned a couple of things about myself:

I like people.  I know that sounds strange.  And if anyone can attest for how outrageous that sounds, it would be the person who was next to me the entire weekend.  I said countless things about how irritating Orlando was; how I never wanted to return, how annoying tourists are, how bad the roads are there, how bad the drivers can be.  I didn't sound too pleased.  And if my trip was based on my comments, it would sound like a part in Chevy Chase's movie, Vegas Vacation.

But I REALLY like people!!!

In my moments of frustration, I realized something.  I am not the only one.  I wasn't the only one in the entire city.  I wasn't the only one driving.  I wasn't the only one lost.  People around me weren't the only tourists.  I fit in just right.  But that is not any sort of excuse for my behavior, by any means.  If anything, I should have been acting in a more friendly, welcoming manner; polite with my speech and mannerisms.

I suppose you can say I have been working on this.  But hindsight sure as heck is 20/20.  I find it much easier to look back and comment on what I have said/done, than it is to take strides in the present day.  So, as I usually do, I have been thinking about why this is.  Do I have an answer for it?  ha..NO!  But I have some insight into my new mentally established thoughts and reasoning on the matter.

One of my secret vices is not thinking before I speak or act.  It used to be worse in the past, but I have become better at controlling myself (or censoring myself) lately.  It's a process, making a decision.  One that happens so fast in our brains, that we generally aren't consciously aware of the decision being contemplated...until after we do them.  Eh chem..."hindsight is 20/20."  Anyway, the way I have been able to work on that vice is to actually attempt to think out the pros and cons of each decision/result.  Am I always right?  No.  And I let myself get in the way of myself at times as well.

Whoa, [WAIT a minute!?] what?  

Yes, I admittedly allow myself to stumble and battle with myself.  No, that doesn't mean verbally or physically fighting with myself.  I am talking about it from a mental standpoint.  For instance, when I am trying to decide whether or not to let someone in front of me, in bumper to bumper traffic, when I have to be in class in 10 minutes, and there is no way I will get there on time.  I could either move up and not them in (for myself), or I could just hold back and let the car through (for them).  In the end, [the funny part is] more times than not, the driver pulls through my lane into the traffic beside me.  I see it as God's way of saying, "Look, see, was it that big of a deal!?"  And that's right...it isn't.  In the end, letting that person in makes me feel better.  I look at it like this (and this helps a lot): how would I feel if I were in their shoes?

Another secret vice I have, is the inability to withhold from worry.  I have gotten much better at it, but I still cause myself stress and worry (unnecessarily).  This worry is covered on a broad spectrum.  I worry about the smallest things, to the largest things.  One thing that I used to do all the time, is worry about my life.  I used to map out everything.  My entire future could be written out on a single sided loose leaf sheet of paper, with everything on it.  I have grown to understand that this is NOT how it should be!  Who am I to be planning out my entire life?  First off, doesn't that just set myself up for a let down??  Secondly, isn't God the One who has planned everything?  Shouldn't I trust in Him, and understand that it is (and always will be) His plan!?  I now live by this, that I learned: my plans < God.  But wait, does that mean that we shouldn't plan ahead, or desire things for our future?  I believe that it is healthy to have ambition; to strive for something great.  But if we turn to God, and strive to live for Him, then our path will become clear.  Do I plan ahead?  Yes.  But I am weary with how I do so.  I make sure not to look too far into the future, where I am unable to feel what He is leading me to.  

The idea of self.  Allowing ourselves to get in the way of ourselves.  One last thing on that topic.  Along with doing things for others and not trying to re-write God's plan, there lies the idea of confidence.  I believe that everyone has a sense of confidence in themselves.  But confidence is not defined as 'knowing that you are the best.'  There is absolutely zero reason why anyone should think that...but it still seems to be a popular thing to do.  People tend to make themselves something they aren't.  Boasting and bragging about themselves, and what they will become.  That, to me, is fake.  It is not believable.  And I have no problem with acknowledging that it is a sin.  It kills me to say that.  And I am not one to judge, ever.  But with myself, I try to ensure that I stay far away from this issue.  

Here are some bible verses to think about, in relation to this post:

Romans 12:10

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  Honor one another above yourselves.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

James 4:10

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

1 Peter 5:6-7

6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

I know that the question may come up, in reading my blog posts:  why does it always come back to God?

Well...

Assume The Position

Before I delve deep into a few different areas of thought, I must preface this post.  I would like to make a point that these topics are not directed at someone or something in particular.  They are simply thoughts that I had, and continue to have, so I decided it was time to share them.

I have a question.  What does it mean to be normal?

Sir Webster says it means: according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle; conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern.

Okay, but what is being normal?  Beyond the definition, beyond the everyday burnt out usage of it...what is being normal?  Does it mean to not fall too far away from what everyone else is doing?  In that case, there is a problem!

If we are concerned with being normal, that is not falling too far away from what everyone else is doing, then we are in trouble.  And yes, we all are guilty of being this person, at certain points in our lives.  Wearing certain clothes to try and fit in, talking a certain way in an attempt to be like everyone else, hanging out with certain people so you can be included in the "cool" group, etc.

Why do we get so concerned with being normal?

I believe people become afraid of what others will think of them.  And this isn't just the case for adolescents, it grows on adults as well.  There's always that person trying to get in every picture, the person always wondering what their friends think of them, etc.  The problem is, they become so consumed with how they will be perceived, that they lose the entire meaning of life.

Who freaking cares what car you drive?  Who cares what designer bag/clothes you have?  Who cares how many people you know?  Who cares how many places you have been?  Who cares what you look like?

It's the concept of self.

Consumed in the likeness of ourselves, losing the ability to see the meaning of life, because we are in our own way.  It's simple, and easily solved.  It comes in another definition of 'normal':

occurring naturally

It's that simple!  What is normal, is naturally occurring. 

We all have influences in our lives; family, friends, media, etc.  It is how we use those outlets of knowledge and information, that lead to our successes or our failures in life.  I believe that self consumed people are unmanageable for me.  That doesn't mean that I judge them, or that I was never as they are.  I am just making a point, that I have learned that it is growing extremely hard for me to be able to deal with people who make themselves the focus.  

As I write in my blog, and include my thoughts, with an infinite amount of 'I's used, I wouldn't want the focus to be on me.  I must reiterate that I am presenting thoughts.  I am not trying to say that I am right.  As a matter of fact, I don't believe that everything I say holds truth to it.  The intent is to spark thought amongst yourselves, with the hope that I can offer some alternative insight. 

To conclude my thought on being "normal", I would like to make a point, spiritually.  

I believe that being a Christian is a normal thing.  It is the largest religion in the world, and continues to grow.  But I believe that being a CHRISTIAN is not a "normal" thing.  Being a Christian means to be a follower of Jesus Christ; striving to live as He lived, for all the days of our lives.  It is rare that people exemplify Jesus on a regular basis, therefore making it a step out of the norm.  Point being, instead of getting caught up in what people think, try this on for size; get caught up in what Jesus thinks. 

Maybe it will serve as a  postscript (P.S.), but I had this thought conjured in my mind the other day, and I kind of just ran with it.  It is an idea relating to feelings in a relationship. 

Someone catches your eye, so you go talk to the person.  You find them to be very interesting.  Then you begin to like them.  So you begin hanging out with them on a regular basis.  Then, you begin to really like them, and maybe have some feelings of lust/infatuation/extreme likeness.  So, you increase the rate at which you spend time with the person.  Over a great period of time (which varies from relationship to relationship), you become enthralled with the person, and fall in love.  And they lived happily ever after.

But what happens next?

I can see it with different relationships, mainly between my grandparents and parents, that this is all well and good to a certain extent.  I thoroughly believe that my grandparents are in love.  But why do they always nag each other, and talk trash about each other...to each other?  I feel that they are in love, but they don't necessarily like each other anymore, or as much.  In an ideal and perfect situation, and I only assume how incredibly awesome this is.  The ability to like someone again, after you are in love with them.  When you reach that point of ridiculously comfortability with that person, and you are so settled that nothing could ever rock you two, try liking that person again.  Tell them how much you actually care for them.  Show them how much you actually care for them.  Be there for them at all times.  Display your likeness for them, amidst the extravagant love.  Because that, is what I call perfection in a relationship. 

:)

It is Time...

I presently have many thoughts.  Why do I feel like it is necessary for me to preface a blog about my thoughts, with that statement?

I figure because this entry may turn into another one of my rants.

**Sigh** Here goes nothing..

Okay.  I feel like I have been on a spiritual tear lately.  I feel like I am catching myself doing/saying/thinking bad things, and stopping myself.  I am trying to make myself the best person I can be.  Most importantly, I have been going to God more.  On a moment by moment basis, rather than when I get to it.  It has helped improve my morale, in turn, making it much more enjoyable to go throughout my days.

A lot happened this past weekend.  I went on a road trip with my youth pastor, to a few of the state colleges.  Along the way, I learned many things.

The first thing that I learned, is how to be happy, and free from momentary worries.  In the car on Friday morning, windows down (not too good of an A/C in his car (side note: I sweat the most than anyone I know, and have this ridiculously insane body heat that seems to have a hard time cooling down)), cruising through the state, I realized somethings.

1. Worry
Why do we worry about the little things?  I know we may ask ourselves this on the daily, but seriously!  I wonder this all the time, but as I began to sweat through my shirt on the car ride, I realized I have changed.  The guy that used to get twirked out about being uncomfortable, hot, etc., was the same guy just chilling (figuratively, obviously).  As a result of this discovery about myself, I learned something else.

2. Life
There is more to life than to have to think too deeply in the momentary, small picture.  Finding myself forced into a position where I would formerly be extremely uncomfortable, I was able to embrace life.

TANGENT:  This is my new thing.  A new realization, if you will.  What we have is a gift.  I believe I have already acknowledged that in a previous entry.  But next time you get in your car, roll the windows down, drive the speed limit, feel the wind, and embrace it.  Next time you see something, a flower, or a tree, or even freshly cut grass, take a look, a smell, and embrace it.  How do you embrace life?  Here's kind of how it struck me the other day:  Jesus is God's gift to us.  Naturally, as church has taught us, we are supposed to embrace Him.  But think about it for a second.  When it is a holiday or our birthday, and we may receive gifts...how do we treat them?  Let's say you open the gift, and you despise it.  So you put it on the shelf to hang.  Not really paying it any mind.  Now, what if you really think it's okay?  So you store it somewhere, and use it every once in a while, right?  And what if you open the gift you have received, and you absolutely LOVE it!?  So you use the item to it's greatest ability, until it runs out.  Now put Jesus in the place of the material gift you may have gotten.  Is He just hanging on your shelf, used every once in a while, or is He being used to his greatest ability?  See, the neat thing that I have learned, is that Jesus is the greatest gift we have received...ever!  He isn't a lame, that just gets tossed into your closet.  He isn't just okay...and gets used periodically.  He isn't used until He runs out either.  He is ever lasting.
As I drove home from school today, I had the thought in my head...Jesus is always there, God is always in us since the beginning of time.  It's just a matter of how you use the gift.

P.S. a few updates...
I have had a week of awesomeness, and have decided that I have added the goal to go to seminary upon completion of undergraduate studies.  It is something that I have thought about in the past, but now I just feel so called to do it.  God has placed it on my heart for a reason.  And with that, I am thoroughly, newly excited for what God has to offer in my life.  Yeah there are going to be times where it may be rough, but knowing He is always there is quite reassuring.